White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Who died my cat blue again?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
