hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
