thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
