Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
