So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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