Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
My first STD was from a foam party
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
