We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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