its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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