We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
