i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize
