you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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