Your dad touched me again.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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