Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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