his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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