Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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