I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
