seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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