you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I will pee on everything he values.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
