The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
