Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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