Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
