I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
