You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Randomize