you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
