If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
