I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
