Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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