Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
