distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
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He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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