Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
