I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
