Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
