Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize