pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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