My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
