Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
