Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
