Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
that is very illegal...i love you.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
