things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
