tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
