I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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