Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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