did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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