What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
