I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
You were trust falling into bushes
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize