I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Randomize
