So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
