I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
