the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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