I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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