Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
