White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
