I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
