I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Of course I have a pirate flag
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
