seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
