They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Randomize
