i don't like sucking hair
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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