I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize