Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
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