shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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