weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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