I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I wish I only lived at night.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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