fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
did i walk over a car last night?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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